A breakup is one of life’s biggest NOs. If it’s not something you wanted, it can be devastating. Even if you initiated it, there’s a sting because, nope, it wasn’t working, what you wanted or needed. Whichever side of it you were on, if you’re lucky, you might feel relief. More often than not, though, you feel like all the air has left the world and you can’t breathe.

If that’s where you are right now, take in a deep breath and hold it. Feel how full your lungs are. Now slowly exhale. The constriction that you felt should be lessened. Do it again. Then again. And again. You are breathing. You are on the mend. And when you feel like the air is gone, force yourself to breathe again. When you pull in that air, tell yourself YES. YES, you are going to get through this. YES, things will get better each day. YES, you deserve more and better from life. YES, you are going to be fine.

The other YES I suggest is agreeing to follow the Ground Rules and Steps. I know some might find them harsh, but there’s a reason for them. Time might be the best healer of wounds, but distance is also a powerful salve. You need both in order to get over this ending. Don’t waver in that. The more you keep the focus on your healing, the faster you will get over it. And, isn’t that what you want?

The best YES is the one you give to yourself. Say YES to moving on. Say YES to letting go. Say YES to opportunities. Say YES to believing that good things will come. One YES I have found to be extraordinarily true is that, if you do let go and move on, the next relationship you have will be so much better than the last (even if you don’t think that is possible; trust me, it is). You won’t have to repeat the same patterns or make the same mistakes. You won’t tolerate the same bad behavior and you won’t attract a partner who would show you that kind of disrespect. And that is something to say YES to, no?